Much has happened in my life over the past 10 months. Enough, I might say, to force me to re-evaluate what I imagined my life to be.
On the night between the 18th and 19th of June I was walking in my sleep – something I have not done since my childhood. A fall resulted in a severely fractured ankle and extensive blood loss. The subsequent 7 months in hospital and respite care provided me with ample time to mull over, whilst lying in bed in enforced inactivity, the things I had taken for granted before.
I now realised I was not a fit and active older woman. I was not immortal. I was 84, now 85, years old and for a while totally dependent on others for my every need and, in fact, was now seen as somebody needing care and unable to make credible decisions regarding my own life.
I returned home just before Christmas, now walking albeit with a Zimmer frame, and still in severe pain.
My life was returned to me – but I was a different person from the one who went away. No longer believing my years ahead stretched for ever – 10 years, more years – I now counted in at most months. Not that I felt older or less well, but I saw that setting objectives that might take years to achieve was not a sensible thing to do.
So, as I am still walking with the aid of my frame and still needing help in many ways, and as I have established a working rapport with my nearest and dearest who now accept I might be feeble in body but my mind and confidence is now back at full working order, I will share with you what I intend to do with my days remaining.
I am still working on the writing of my two books – From Then ’til Now and the second, which carries no title, but is referred to as the Beverley Book. I will post a Chapter of each per month which will give me deadlines to keep to. Neither may ever be completed but I am motivated to stay alive long enough to at least try.
Additionally, I will spend more time on my painting. During recent weeks I have managed to complete several. Here they are, one each month. Do let me know what you think of them and anything else about this post.